Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The True Mother


"Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it." 1 Kings 3:26

When Solomon was confronted by two women who both claimed to be the mother of the same baby, he decided to test the women to find out who was the true mother. He called for one of his servants to bring a sword. The he directed the servant to cut the baby in two, and give one half to each of the women. One of the women stepped forward to protect the baby from the sword, and pled with Solomon to give the child to the other woman rather than kill it. Solomon recognized this woman to be the true mother, and gave the child to her.

The scriptures tell us that the woman who protected the child was the one who had given birth to him, but the fact that she delivered the baby seems less significant than that she loved and protected the baby, and was willing to sacrifice her own interests. Regardless of whether she gave birth to the child or not, she was the one best qualified to raise the child. She was the True Mother.

What does it mean to be a True Mother, or for that matter a True Father, Sister, Brother, or Friend? The True Mother was willing to sacrifice her own possession of the child, in order to give the baby what was in its own best interest. A true friend, likewise, will never choose to act based on their own needs, desires, or interests. A true friend will act in accordance with their friend's best interests.

My sister cherished the time she had with her little ones, and as the time came that they were of age to begin school, she had a difficult time letting them go even for those few hours each day. As a child matures, it needs to develop a broad spectrum of relationships. It needs teachers, coaches, team mates and friends in order to grow in each aspect of its being. A mother who demands to be first in that child's life, past the time when the child needs her constant care, will hinder that child's development. She must cut the apron strings so that the child can be free to build its own life.

My son has a close friend who is engaged to be married. For most people, this situation presents a great temptation to selfishness. A false friend would choose to hinder this relationship by demanding more time with his friend, and putting down the fiancé in an attempt to distance the couple from one another. A true friend would welcome this opportunity for his friend, share in his happiness, and sacrifice time that they may have spent together so that the couple can develop their relationship. The true friend would know that, even though so much time apart might have an adverse impact on their friendship, it is best for his friend.

Ultimately, the love that we bear for each loved one must lead us to make choices informed by the other's best interests, even if that means that we lose something of the very relationship that we cherish. A true friend willingly makes the sacrifice, and finds that the well-being of their loved one makes the relationship stronger as a consequence. It no longer seems a sacrifice, but the making of a true relationship.